From the tone of the last post you might surmise that not everything is working out perfectly or at least how I dream/imagine in my life. I’m not living my ideal life, or the one I have absorbed from the culture and others. I continue to work full-time in technology for a local school district which means a lot of screen time, sense of meaninglessness, boredom and a salary that qualifies my family of five for government assistance. Yet my life is also very full and filled with things I am thankful for, like my family, my community, chickens, gardens, rainwater and a job.
I recently had two interviews with a local non-profit. It was down to two candidates and I didn’t get the job, a blow to my self-esteem. I’ve also decided to quit my small business, Edible Lawns, after one last project at a local school. The stress of being successful (but not enough to quit my job) while continue to work full time for the last year and a half has taken it’s toll and proved to be too much. We’ve also been at the center of some difficult conversations in our community. All this has come together in the last week.
So, after realizing that I might not get a dream job, might not be a successful small business owner and could someday not be a part of the intentional community we’re a part of, I have sat with the thought that there is no thing on the horizon, no next thing to work on or work toward. I asked, “What if I just work at my job and go home to my family every day?” Continue reading